Because We Won't Stop . . .

I realize that it has been a LONG time since I've updated MacKale's blog.  Trust me when I say, no news is good news.  We have been blissfully happy, living a scan free life for six months.  But then, I thought, after all this time, today would be an appropriate day to touch base and catch up.  Today is the last day of September and the last day of Pediatric Cancer Awareness Month.  It just so happens that it was also three years ago today that Mike and I traveled with MacKale to Devos to begin the journey that would take him from diagnosis to treatment to surgery to more treatment and on and on and on  . . . until today! Three years  . . . many buckets of tears . . . hours of prayer . . . countless miles in the car and by plane visiting doctors . . . to get to  . . . today!

Today, Mac is happy and whole and living life to fullest.  In fact, he's golfing in Arizona this weekend which is just about the best way to thumb his nose at cancer.  He doesn't dwell on the past. He's a "living in the here and now" kind of kid.

He spent the summer at camps . . . on rope courses of all things . . .

golfing a lot and just hanging out like a typical kid.

He's back in school and managing the JV soccer team.  I wonder and worry sometimes that watching all his friends playing the sport he loved so dearly must be disappointing to him . . . but he tells me, 'At least I'm doing something, and I'm not sitting around at home.'  He's right. He's not sitting around at home.  We can hardly keep up with his and his brothers' schedules. The truth is, having his leg amputated has given him a great deal of freedom and a new, brighter look on life.  And he has told us it was the best decision he could have ever made.  We couldn't agree more, and it, surprisingly, seems like the most natural thing ever to see him walking with a prosthetic.  He doesn't get a lot of sympathy from his brothers, he can do darn near anything, and much to his brothers' delight, his chore list has gotten significantly longer.

The one thing we didn't anticipate was that he would grow so much.  In fact, he's outgrown his socket and so in the next week, he'll be traveling back down to Mary Freebed to get fitted for a new socket and pick up a new knee.  It's exciting times.  And it makes it really easy for all of us to forget that come December, we are right back at scans.  We continue to pretend that cancer has left our life until that day comes back around . . . but it always comes back around and when it does, it reminds us of how hard this journey has been and how much we wish we could rid the world of this horrendous killer that is taking away too many of our children. I know the lessons I have learned and the change that being a cancer mom has had on me,  how cancer has changed Mike and the little boys and, of course, Mac.  And while I believe we are stronger for it, I don't wish this experience on any parent, sibling or child.

And that's why during the month of September, we are especially annoying and in your face about the facts surrounding pediatric cancer.  If you follow my personal page or Mike's on Facebook, I'm sure I have cluttered your feed daily with the truth about pediatric cancer.

I thank God for our family and friends that support us in this . . . from taking up the cause like Mike's office . . .

to cutting out ginormous yellow ribbons for signs like the parents of Mac's golfing buddy Harry . . . (thank you Chipmans)

to simply sharing our posts. . . .


I know we were a little over the top, but honestly, I am not sorry for it.  I love you all, and I appreciate your support and prayers, but I can't be sorry for making anyone uncomfortable when it comes to kids dying of cancer and very little being done about it.  So I post my uncomfortable statistics and pray that all of you will not be blind like I once was to all of it. I pray that you will extend the same kindness and support you gave our family during the darkest days of our life to the 1000s of kids that need you to be their voice.  I hope that, unlike me, you won't just scroll through and look at the statistics and think 'that's so sad' because that's exactly what I did before cancer struck our family.  I felt bad about it, I had empathy . . . but I didn't do a damn thing about it.  And now . . . well now it's personal. Now I'm mad. Now I'm frustrated. Now I'm ready to do something.  Because you see . . . I'm a mom and I'm a teacher and it's just in my DNA to take care of kids and want what's best for them and MORE THAN 4% of funding for pediatric cancer IS the right thing.   If we continue with only 4% then we will continue to see kids dying.  We will not change the fact that in the 30 days that I shared all these facts about pediatric cancer, nearly 21,900 kids across the world were diagnosed with cancer and 7500 died . . . in JUST 30 days.

So when you're saying your prayers for MacKale and our family (and please keep us in those prayers), please pray for a change and a miracle.  Pray that we will find a way to cure this horrendous disease, to shake up the big drug companies, to make saving kids a priority.  And if you find it in your heart to do more . . . then bless you.  And if you can't, then please share our message, indulge us with our annoying posts and continue to pray.

And in case you missed it . . .

30 Days of Pediatric Cancer Awareness

and finally . . .

Blessings to you all and keep those prayers coming!

Baby Steps

It has only been four months since we set off for Florida to have MacKale's leg amputated, but we have traveled so far in those four months.  They haven't been big steps that have gotten Mac and our little family to where we are today.  No giant leaps . . . just very well calculated . . . unwavering baby steps. Baby steps that keep us moving forward.

I often have people ask me how Mac is feeling about the whole amputation thing.  Does he regret anything?  Is he self-conscious or embarrassed?  Does he get frustrated or angry?  I am happy and somewhat amazed to say . . . 'no, he is at peace with it.'  In fact last week he told me, 'having my leg amputated was the best decision I ever made.'  And we think so, too.

At no point in the last 4 months has he ever said, 'why me.'  Or 'I wish I had my leg.'  And believe me, as a mom, I worried about how this would all play out and if he would be able to handle it, but I believe that God truly led us to the place and to the people that he needed to meet to make this the best decision he could make. They helped him find peace! They helped all of us find peace and have made this whole process seem like the most logical, natural course of action.   God had a plan, and everything is as it should be.

Mac has quickly healed from his amputation and after less than two months with his prosthetic, he is walking comfortably without his crutches.  Woohoo and Amen!  He has lots of big goals . . . but we are very good at reminding him . . . baby steps!  First, you need to walk, before you can run.  So PT is still in full swing.  He's doing the work and getting stronger everyday.

He is determined to get his golf game back and since school ended last Tuesday, he has played six 18-hole rounds of golf.  I can't keep him off the course. (If you're looking for me, I'll happily be hauling kids to and from the golf course all summer.) It's a good problem to have, and I'll happily take it.

Our home is noisy with laughter, activity and utter chaos almost all of the time, and it's fabulous.

Things are delightfully normal, and we couldn't be happier.

It may not have been the straightest path or the quickest path, but baby steps keep moving us forward and have gotten us to a very good place. We are truly blessed.

So as we head down to DeVos tomorrow for MacKale's 6-month scans, please keep us in your prayers.  Our greatest desire is to continue to keep MacKale with a status of NED (no evidence of disease.)

Happy Summer Everyone.